SAFE TO BE SENSUAL: Owning Our Birthright in a Predatory World
- Laura: Awakening the Goddess
- Jul 3, 2024
- 10 min read
Updated: Feb 21
Our feminine sensuality is a natural part of our human experience, and an essential part of living the blessing of being born a woman. Fully living in our bodies is our birthright, that connects us deeply to our emotions, pleasure, beauty, flow and the world around us.
Yet, in a world that often feels predatory and unwelcoming to true, embodied femininity, owning our sensual nature can feel unsafe, and even be a daunting and courageous act.
This is a deeply personal topic for me, and one that honestly, I am continually still working on. The journey towards embracing & embodying our natural flowing sensuality is filled with challenges, especially for those of us who have experienced past sexual assault, trauma, or abuse.
Why Our Sensuality is Sacred
Our real sensuality is sacred because it is the language of our soul-bare bodies in communion with life. It is about being fully embodied in the ripples of sensations and energy flow moving through us, that allows us to connect to the rich, pleasureful currents that move through all of existance. Imagine the breeze caressing your skin, dancing through the branches of a tree, the soft waves of the ocean moving our bodies in undulating rhythms. Sensuality is found in the kiss of rain on our lips, our naked feet making love with the earth.
There is an orgasmic field to life and existence that is pure energy flow. Sacred sensuality is about opening to this pleasure in life; allowing our life-force and eros to flow freely, and through that, merging & making love to life itself.
When we are not in resistance to life but instead dancing with her, we melt and merge with life as if it was our dance partner. This soft feminine surrender leads to a deeper, juicier, yummier way of being, one filled with beauty, wonder, magic, connection, bliss, and inspiration. Sensuality invites us into a state of being that is deliciously alive, where every moment becomes an opportunity to experience the profound pleasure & beauty that life has to offer.
Who would not want to live in that state of vibrant aliveness?
The Courage to Own Our Sensuality
Sadly so many natural feminine gifts have been shamed and shut-down in us as women. Not only that, - in a world condemning and at the same time starving for feminine energy, a lot of what is part of our feminine spirituality has been sexualised. And unfortunately polluted by darker desires.
Reclaiming and embracing our authentic sensuality openly in a world that has not fully awakened to, or honors the space for, genuine feminine expression takes immense courage. It can be a terrifying prospect for many women, particularly those who have experienced sexual violence, or predatory, non-consensual 'taking' behaviour from others.
The fear of being seen, judged, or targeted because of our sensual nature is also real and valid. Along with our, often conflicting desires - to be seen and celebrated in our fullness.
We have many centuries of collective & ancestral conditioning, which we have all recieved as women, weighing heavily in our nervous systems & bodies. This fear is often exacerbated by a history of sexual trauma, making the path to reclaiming & LIVING our sensuality even more complex and fraught with emotional landmines.
There is also another issue....
The Distortion of Sensuality in Society
Because woman is a naturally sensuous being; and because there is a confusing, conflicting yearning to be seen; and because sensuality has been sexualised in our modern world, fake performative sensuality is rampant. It has been heavily exploited by the marketing industry for years, to sell everything from cars, to beauty products.
Social media platforms like Instagram are flooded with images and videos that depict a performance of sensuality designed to garner likes, follows, and attention. And female fashions are rife with artificial and exaggerated lips, breasts and asses. This performative sensuality is a far cry from the true, embodied sensuality that is a gift of soulful self nourishment. It is also far more expansive, magnetic and pleasurable, and so also far more powerful, & dangerous.
True embodied sensuality is not about performing or seducing to get something in return. It is about opening ourselves in sublime surrender to the current of life. It is a deeply personal and internal experience that feels good from within, nourishing every cell of our being.
It is not about manipulation or 'getting', but about embodying, and softening into 'receiving' subtle qualities of pleasure, and recognizing the orgasmic field and frequency of life.
However, because sensuality, pleasure and sexuality have been so manipulated and misunderstood, when ( particularly men, but not always ) some men with predatory awareness encounter this feminine energy, they may misinterpret it as something to take or possess. This can make the experience of embracing our sensuality fraught with the risk of attracting unwanted attention, or even danger.
My Personal Journey with Sensuality
Throughout my life, I have been aware of my ability to tap into highly orgasmic, open states of being. This awareness has been both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it connects me to a deep sense of pleasure and life force. On the other hand, it has also made me a magnet for men who seek to take or grab, often leading to entitled, pervy, dangerous or unwanted attention. This unwanted attention has, at times, caused me to shut down my sensuality as a form of self-protection.
My story includes painful experiences of assault and even an attempted group rape when I was simply tapping into this open, receptive energy field. These experiences have left me too with a residue fear and wariness, of being seen - open and sensually embodied, especially in the presence of other humans. Yet, there is also a deeper yearning within me to live in this state of openness, and to fully embrace and express my sensuality with myself and with life.
Healing traumatic imprints and associations can take time. Patience and slow genteness are key as we work on re-wiring safety back into our own bodies and nervous systems. We are not only working with our personal traumas, but the cellular memories of our collective ones.
Navigating Sensuality in a Predatory World
The question that often arises is: How do we stay in this wonderful receptivity but deflect takey, unwanted, or entitled, perverted energy and attention ?
I have asked this question to many teachers along my path, and none were able to answer me. So i realised that perhaps it is for ME to write about, and to share with others the steps i am taking. This is a complex issue, because it is also a societial issue, but it begins with understanding and honoring our boundaries, and the signals our body sends us.
The somatic effects of trauma—terror, fear, shutdown, and shame—are our body's instinctual way of attempting to protect us. Part of healing involves acknowledging these responses with compassion and love, and working to slowly understand and re-integtate them. Somatic healing work allows us to meet these difficult emotions, process them, and gradually rewire our nervous systems to feel safe in our bodies again. This process takes time and it varies for each individual, depending on their history of trauma.
It is important to recognize that this is not just a personal issue but a collective feminine issue. In many parts of the world, it is still not safe for women to express themselves or their sensual-spirituality openly. Even in more modern societies, male sexuality is often manipulated and distorted, and female sensuality, and sexuality, is conditioned to fit a more masculine model rather than its own feminine, expansive nature.
A lot of the work we ALL need to do, is de-conditioning and healing from this artificial, harmful programming that lives encoded within our nervous systems. Doing so awakens our true power and ecstatic natures. The more of us who do the work the more we begin to change and heal the collective.
Healing Through Somatic Work
Somatic therapy provides a pathway to healing by addressing the body and mind as interconnected systems. It helps us process and release stored trauma & habitual contracting & trapped emotional energy, and also to examine and rewire beliefs, fears and conditioned imprinting deep in our subconcious and nervous systems. This healing and concious rewiring allows us to change the script for ourselves, to reclaim our sacred sensuality and feel safe in our own bodies. This healing process is essential for us to move from a place of fear and shutdown to one of openness and empowerment. This work can be done 1:1 in my Somatic Coaching Sessions - which encompasses embodied trauma healing tools, Movement, Sound, Breathwork, Inner Parts work, Archetypal and Ancestral diologuing, Inner child work, Shadow work, Emotional release, Core Transformation, Tantric energy practices, ancient Feminine Goddess healing arts ~ and so much more.
For anyone interested in a real deep dive into this work as a fully transformative journey, i run an 8 month 1:1 healing program Awakening - The - Goddess you can find out more details by clicking the link, or send me a message to have a chat.
Some Practical Steps for Reclaiming Sacred Sensuality
If you can't, or don't feel ready yet to invest in healing work. Here are some tips to help get you started:
Set Boundaries: Clearly define and communicate your boundaries to others. Practice saying no and honoring your own needs and comfort levels. This can be challanging, i know, especially if we have had early abuse and our boundaries have been violated. Even if your boundaries are not perfect, or it is scary and uncertain to do - celebrate the heck out of any and all small steps you do take 😊 The self-positive reinforcement will go a long way.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey. Acknowledge the pain and trauma you have experienced and treat yourself with kindness.
Engage in Somatic Practices: Begin to gently explore your somatic world and sensations in practices such as yoga, breathwork, dance and body awareness exercises - such as mindfulness, to reconnect with your body and feel what is present.
Create Safe Spaces: Surround yourself with people who respect and honor your boundaries, and who you feel safe to express them to. Create environments where you feel safe to express your sensuality without fear - even if its just at home alone dancing to some amazing music.
Goddess Self-Care Rituals: <-- This Blog is full of lots more great ideas to get you started.
And, if you do feel you need more help or support, or wish to go deeper:
Seek Support: Find a therapist or support group that specializes in trauma and somatic healing. Sharing your experiences with others who understand and validate you can be incredibly healing.
The Path to Feminine Empowerment
Owning our sensuality as a sacred vessel for connection and spiritual communion - is a profound act of self-reclamation and Love. Reclaiming our birthright to experience pleasure, joy, and connection in a world that often seeks to take these from us is incredibly empowering. It is about recognizing that our sensuality is not for sale, not for performance, not even for another, but for our own deep nourishment and fulfillment.
By embracing our true, embodied sensuality, we can also begin to shift the collective consciousness around female sexuality, which is MUCH VASTER than what is currently known. We can begin to create a world where it is safe for all women to express their sensual nature without fear of exploitation or harm. Where we can encourage this vital life-force that wishes to flow through us, and celebrate it in each other. Instead of it triggering our insecurities and pain and wounds in competativeness, hiding or showing off. These are painful wounds, and not entirely ours, but that lay the foundation for a true healing sisterhood. This journey is not easy, but it is essential for our healing and empowerment.
A Short Meditation for Awakening Sacred Sensuality
To support your journey of reclaiming your sacred sensuality, here is a short meditation to connect with and embrace your sensual nature:
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Find a Quiet Space: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax.
Connect with Your Body: Gently place your hands on your heart and your lower belly. Feel the warmth and connection between your hands and your body. Allow yourself to feel and welcome all sensations and emotions present in you - including resistence, impatience, irritation, numbness, fear.
Visualise Sensual Energy: Imagine a soft, warm light radiating from your heart or belly and spreading throughout your entire body. This light represents your sensual energy, filling every cell with warmth and pleasure.
Embrace Your Sensuality: Allow yourself to fully experience the sensations in your body. Feel any pleasure, the warmth, and the connection to your sensual nature. Allow yourself to experiment moving your body gently in ways that feel good.
Affirm: Hug yourself warmly with love, and silently or softly repeat affirmations such as "I am safe to be sensual," "My sensuality is a gift," and "I honor my body and its sensations."
End with Gratitude: Thank yourself for taking this time to connect with your body and sensuality. Slowly bring your awareness back to the present moment, taking a few deep breaths.
Summary
Reclaiming our sacred sensuality in a predatory world is an act of courage and self-love, especially if we have experienced any trauma, abuse or violation ( and sadly what woman hasn't? )
It requires us to navigate and feel our fears, set new boundaries, and engage in deep healing work. But by honouring our sensual nature and creating safe spaces for its expression, we can empower ourselves and contribute to a world where it is safe for all women to be sensual.
Remember, your sacred sensuality is your birthright, a profound gift that connects you to the essence of life itself. Embrace it with love, compassion, magic and courage.
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If you'd like to be in touch about anything mentioned in this article, or would like to work together 1:1 or ONLINE, you can contact me below.
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Awakening the Inner Temple of Your Womb
22 - 26th May 2025
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