From Codependency to Empowerment: Inner Child Work through Somatic Healing
- 🍃The Body Sanctuary🍃
- Jul 28, 2024
- 6 min read
The journey of moving from codependency to empowerment is a deeply personal healing and transformative process. Why do it? - Many of us, have experienced the pain and frustration of repeating unhealthy relationship patterns, feeling trapped by our own emotional responses, and suffering from the shame and stigma that often accompanies these issues.
This blog aims to shed light on the profound impact of inner child work through somatic healing, offering hope and practical tools for those looking to heal and empower themselves.
And, have better relationships that are based on soverignity, mutual empowerment and co-creation, rather than co-dependancy, drama and pain.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a psychological pattern where an individual depends excessively on others for approval and identity, which can often leading to unhealthy, one-sided relationships.
It involves placing a higher priority on the needs and desires of others while neglecting one's own, which can result in enabling dysfunctional behaviors such as addiction or irresponsibility in the other person. This dynamic can prevent both parties from developing healthy, independent identities and can perpetuate cycles of emotional instability and dysfunction.
Understanding Codependency and Its Roots
Codependency often stems from unmet childhood needs and traumatic experiences. As children, we rely on our caregivers to provide us with a sense of safety, love, and validation. When these needs are not met—whether due to neglect, abandonment, abuse, or other forms of trauma—we develop coping mechanisms that can manifest as codependent behaviors in adulthood.
Common side effects of codependency include avoiding relationships, becoming overly clingy, experiencing emotional outbursts, and attracting unhealthy, addicted, volatile, or abusive partners. Despite our conscious desire to form healthy relationships, our subconscious mind, filled with early childhood imprints, often sabotages these efforts.
The Subconscious Blueprint
Our subconscious mind holds a powerful blueprint of "what love is" based on our early experiences. If our childhood was chaotic or our needs were unmet, this blueprint can lead us to unconsciously seek out partners who mirror these dynamics, perpetuating a cycle of pain and dysfunction. This inner programming dictates our attachment styles and subconscious understanding of relationships.
The "iceberg analogy" illustrates this concept well:
Our conscious minds, are the part of the iceberg above the surface of the water, and reflects who we think we are. However, the larger part of the iceberg, submerged beneath the surface, represents our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind contains all the impressions, stories, programming, experiences we have ever had. This hidden part of ourselves often rules the show, influencing our behaviors and choices in profound ways. It is also more connected to our limbic system and amygdala which impacts our emotional and survival responses.
This can explain why - if we are holding a wounded subconcious imprint we keep seeking out and behaving in similar patterns, and ways that we feel we should know better than. Our concious mind is at war with our unconcious impulses and subconcious programs. Which can lead to frustration, shame, confusion and a lot of pain.
The Role of Somatic Healing
Somatic healing offers a unique and effective approach to addressing these deep-seated issues. Unlike traditional talk therapy, somatic therapies engage the body and the subconscious mind, facilitating healing at a fundamental level. By working with the body's sensations, movements, and energy, somatic therapy can help rewire and reprogram the subconscious mind, leading to lasting change. The somatic body is the doorway to entering our subconcious. A wonderful part of working with our bodies is that our body does not lie, it may speak in symbols, but it will always tell you the truth. By working through the body we can access some deep inner truths about our programming and core woundings and then embark on healing and repairing it. Gradually healing and tweaking the inner subconcious script we carry can then create real change, and deep impact on our everyday, surface lives.
What Is Somatic Therapy Used For?
Somatic therapy is used for a variety of issues, including trauma healing, emotional healing & regulation, and improving all areas of our lives & relational dynamics.
It can help individuals become more attuned to their bodies and inner knowing, develop self-trust and sense of identity; it can help to release stored trauma and traumatic imprints from within the nervous system and process old emotional wounding so that you can live with greater freedom, joy and choice. It also helps you to re-develop healthier ways of relating to yourselves and others.
Healing the Inner Child
Inner child work is an essential part of somatic healing work. By meeting and healing the wounds of our inner child, we can change the deep inner programming that influences our adult relationships. This process involves reconnecting with the hurt, scared, or neglected parts of ourselves and providing them with the love, validation, and safety they lacked during childhood.
Steps to Heal the Inner Child:
Acknowledge Your Inner Child: Begin by recognizing the presence of your inner child and the impact of childhood experiences on your current behavior.
Listen to Your Inner Child: Pay attention to the emotions and needs of your inner child. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions without judgment.
Reparent Yourself: Provide your inner child with the love, care, and validation they need. This might involve visualization exercises, affirmations, or nurturing activities.
Somatic Practices: Engage in deeper somatic practices with an experienced guide, having done work to regulate and heal their own nervous system, they can help you to access similar states of nervous system regulation with techniques such as mindful movement, body awareness exercises, breath and sound work - to release stored trauma and integrate energetically in your body-mind. Deeper practices of Somatic Work also involve inner diologuing - by entering the sensations within your body to access your subconcious programming, where you can do profoundly deep inner integration work.
You can find out more about these sessions and if they are right for you, here:
Overcoming Shame and Stigma
Healing from codependency and inner child wounds can be particularly challenging due to the shame and stigma associated with these issues. Many adults feel embarrassed or weak for struggling with codependency, believing they should have "outgrown" these patterns. However, it is essential to approach this work with compassion and understanding.
The Power of Somatic Therapy Tools
Somatic therapy offers powerful tools for trauma healing and emotional regulation. These tools can help individuals access and heal their subconscious mind, leading to profound and lasting changes in their lives.
Benefits of Somatic Therapy Tools:
Trauma Release: Somatic therapy helps release stored trauma and repressed emotions from the body, reducing symptoms of PTSD and other trauma-related issues.
Emotional Regulation: By becoming more attuned to their bodies, individuals can better manage their emotions and responses.
Improved Relationships: Healing the inner child and reprogramming the subconscious mind leads to healthier, more conscious relationships.
Moving Toward Empowerment
As we heal our inner child and address our subconscious programming, we gain more power over our relationship choices. We no longer need a relationship to validate our worth or fill an emotional void. Instead, we become whole beings, capable of forming secure attachments and honoring ourselves in relationships.
When we feel safe and secure in our skin, we attract partners who reflect this security and wholeness. We can show up authentically, without the fear of abandonment or the need to hide our true selves. This shift allows us to experience deeper, more fulfilling, sovereign connections.
A Short Meditation for Inner Child Healing
To support your journey of healing and empowerment, here is a short meditation to connect with and nurture your inner child:
Find a Quiet Space: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax.
Visualize Your Inner Child: Imagine a safe and comforting place where you can meet your inner child. Visualize yourself as a young child, sitting in this place.
Connect with Your Inner Child: Gently approach your inner child and introduce yourself. Let them know you are here to listen and care for them.
Offer Love and Reassurance: Hold your inner child in a warm embrace, offering words of love and reassurance. Tell them they are safe, loved, and worthy.
Listen to Their Needs: Ask your inner child what they need from you. Listen attentively and respond with compassion and understanding.
End with Gratitude: Thank your inner child for sharing this time with you. Slowly bring your awareness back to the present moment, taking a few deep breaths.
Summary
Healing from codependency and empowering ourselves through inner child work and somatic healing is a transformative journey.
By addressing the deep-seated wounds and subconscious programming that influence our relationships, we can create healthier, more fulfilling connections
This process requires patience, compassion, and a commitment to self-discovery, but the rewards are profound. Remember, you have the power to heal and transform your life, and you are not alone on this journey.
If you need further guidance or support, consider exploring online somatic therapy sessions or 1:1 In-person sessions (if you are in Gozo). We offer a unique & thorough 10 x Session package - which covers healing your inner child from multiple angles:
Working with female linage and masculine linage wounds
Understanding and processing challenging emotions
Healing traumatic Imprints
Developing a inner-caregiver
Increasing your self-worth and deserving
Healing & defining your boundaries;
Working with unconscious shadow networks;
Alchemising somatic shame and core wounds;
& Redefining relationship clarity
You can heal from codependency and move towards a life of empowerment and conscious relationships.
Comments